Corner Pocket's "Idareya" Wings Beat Us

Laura found out a few weeks ago that Corner Pocket, a pool hall and grill on Apalachee Parkway, near the Whataburger and where Circuit City used to be, had a selection of hot wings. In particular, a flavor called "Idareya". For some reason I read this as "EYE-duh-REE-uh" the first time, but it's supposed to be "I dare ya". D'oh. Anyway, seeing as how I've succeeded at the BW3 Blazin' Challenge and eaten plenty of Indian and Thai hot food, including eating supposedly the world's hottest pepper straight (so rare that I can't even remember the name of it), I was non-plussed at this challenge by the title.

So last Friday Laura and I went out with a co-worker, Rachael, to see what this was all about. They had other strange flavors there too for wings... including "Old Bay." Yeah, that stuff you boil crab in. We ordered some of that, and spicy BBQ (which at most places isn't spicy at all). We also got an appetizer, Bleu Cheese Chips, which was nacho chips with blue cheese, lettuce, and pico de gallo on top, maybe some other stuff, and it was incredible. Could have been a meal to itself. Definitely get this and share with some friends.

Then the Idareya wings came. We could smell them widening our nostrils as they were lowered to the table. And I was all right with that. Each wing basket had some veggies shoved into their corner with some ranch. I decided, should the Idareya wings really be so hot, that we should start with the other flavors first while we can still taste them. The spicy BBQ was surprisingly pretty spicy, not too hot of course, but enough that it did give me a little kick. The Old Bay was unfortunately pretty underwhelming. It's such a mild flavor anyway, it really only could take to crab. On wings, they just tasted like salt and pepper wings, quite the disappointment.

I subconsciously put my fingers down to grab a wing from the last basket, since it was right in front of me even though I wasn't eating out of it before, and Laura stopped me as I made contact with the wing, "--Wait! Those are the Idareyas! ... Are you ready?" I said "Yeah. Yeah, I thought I was going for a BBQ, but that's fine. Whatever." As I picked up the drumstick, a little nub of meat fell from the fat part of it, you know that one protrusion on the end of most hot wing drumsticks, and it rolled on the table toward me. I picked it up with my other hand and tossed it in my mouth, before moving on to bite into the wing. But before I could sink my teeth in, I realized that little bitty piece was making my mouth roast already. Already. I paused for a moment to consider this, and Laura's eyes widened as she watched me stop. But then I figured, with hot food, you really need to get eating fast if you intend to finish it. If I stop to savor this little bit, I'll never finish the basket of wings. So I jumped headlong into my first bite of the Idareya wing.

Ho. Lee. Shoot. In the time it took me to chew down on the meat about three times, my entire mouth was on fire. I can't even really describe how it tasted, just plain hot. Not really like garlic or earthy, nor vinegar sour, I suppose it was more bitter than anything else, and then just plain hot. I quickly swallowed that bite and took the rest of the meat off the bone and put it down. I chewed, and rushed to swallow, and my throat was also on fire. My eyes were huge, and Laura's jaw dropped just watching me, she was speechless. Rachael began to giggle. I started exhaling with a rounded mouth, trying to air out, but it wasn't helping. I tried a celery stick with ranch, followed by some beer. The ranch did nothing, the beer helped a lot, for as long as I had it swishing in my mouth anyway. But as soon as I swallowed that beer, the burn came right back. "I don't know if I want to do this anymore," Laura says, without ever having even lifted a wing. Rachael just made snarky comments about us being idiots and/or wusses. "I dare YOU to eat it!" I snapped back. "Oh no no, I'm not making claims to be a wing queen here, this is all you," she said dismissively.

I sat breathing and taking the occasional beer wash for about 10 minutes, no joke. I was crying and the works, the tears flowed so quickly and easily. I actually started debating whether or not I was have a second wing. A SECOND wing. We had TEN, the minimum order. I urged Laura to at least try a wing. Trembling with much fear, she did step up to the challenge and took a bite. Her reaction was much the same as mine, her eyes exploded and she tried to guzzle beer... she didn't even make it to her second BITE. She couldn't finish ONE wing. These things are not meant to be taken lightly. Rachael again guffawed at our misfortune.

We sat panting, and suddenly I looked up at her and said "I'm gonna wash my hands!" and she nearly interrupted me "GOOD IDEA!" and we sprang up and made our way to the bathrooms. Anyone who's eaten really spicy stuff knows that eventually you make the mistake of touching your eyes, scratching your nose, or worst case scenario, using the bathroom later and touching your other sensitive parts, and giving yourself a major external spicy burn, and that HURTS. So we headed off to avoid that possible crisis.

When we got back to the table, Rachael got up to go to the bathroom too. I saw the vegetables in the basket with the Idareya wings, and I didn't want them to go to waste... though some of the sauce looked like it had grazed them. With the care of a surgeon, I gently wrested the veggies away from the wings and out of the basket, and put them into the BBQ basket. I pointed out to Laura that I was doing this and told her to watch out, in case she pulls the wrong vegetable. I mean, we still intended on eating these, but we just wanted to be prepared. We were still panting, afterall.

Rachael came back and continued to mock us. Whatever. We ate the rest of the food, but none of us dared reach for the Idareyas again. We had some more beers. Then sweet justice came... When Rachael had eaten all of her food, and all the veggies in front of her, she reached across the table for the spicy BBQ basket, and took out some celery. Laura and I hardly noticed. But when Rachael bit down, she caught one of the bad ones. All she needed was the tiniest dose, a glancing blow of the Idareya wings sent her into a crying fit immediately, and blowing mighty gusts of exhalations, choking herself on some beer. While the schadenfreude was delightful to me inside, I was so beaten, and saw that beaten part of myself in her, that I really couldn't bring myself to laugh back at her. Laura and I just nodded and frowned a little at her. But now she, too, knew the raw power of this stuff.

If you're out for death by capsaicin, go to Corner Pocket and be prepared to drink a lot of beer afterwards. It's a pool bar primarily, there's also darts, but there's a good selection of other food too. Kind of a rough and tumble place as many bars tend to be, but for a hole in the wall they do a huge business, actually. You can visit their website at http://cornerpocketsportsbar.com/ for more info.